Phil James - bio - 4/4/2010 3:10:20 PM
Thoughts Before Bed On Saturday
I struggle with fear- especially regarding those I love. I always have.
No doubt part of it is that I'm a fearful person, but the lion's share has to do with the fact that I can see. The platitudes that are tossed about by Christians bring little consolation. I’m aware of too much history- too much of the biblical story- to be reassured by any statement that begins with an implied “God won’t allow....”
He has allowed.
Holier people than I’ve ever met have been torn apart at the hands of God’s enemies. Little children who’ve trusted the reassuring extended hand of an evil they couldn’t have understood have died alone, in torment and terror.
My parents are finally old- not approaching, not soon to be. They are nearing the end of the statistical measure. Young and inspiring people who I’ve hoped to one day meet are dying far short of the average allotment.
High school friends are found dead.
Days recently spent in surgery waiting rooms remind me that the best we can hope for loving wives and precious children is to put off the inevitable for a short time.
Every beautiful and young star and starlet in the black and white movies we enjoy as a family are dead. Their dreams (once as hopefully passionate as any we’ve known) are silent. The flesh is cold or worse.
Holy Saturday has drawn to a close- though the parking lot of Wal-Mart is still packed with people who are shopping for tomorrow’s celebration.
Growing up in the church I never understood those who talked as if Easter trumped Christmas. Theoretically I understood. Christmas was to the end of Easter, but really, who would prefer Easter to Christmas?
But the reality of life’s fragility has helped me see.
Its Saturday night. The sun has set. Christ lies cold in the grasp of death, but sometime tonight the world will change.
Sometime tonight I’ll get my mother and father back. Sometime tonight the hands of my wife and children will warmly reach for mine- though dead for untold centuries.
There is never enough time with those you love. Sometime tonight that ceases to be a problem. This doesn't require time to explain properly. The goodness of the morning doesn't require a theoretical background to understand. It is obvious.
Tonight we get back those we love. To a dying man who loves those who are dying... that is precious news.
Christ is Risen! Alleluia!
Thoughts Before Bed On Saturday -
Phil James 4/4/2010 3:10:20 PM
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