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Ringgold High School - Stories

Atwood - An excellent driver (Part Deux)
By: Jimmy Marr
Unnamed perpetrator was riding shotgun with Mr. Atwood (named perpetrator) along Three Notch Road one night, when several flashing yellow construction signs were spotted on the side of the road. Mistakenly thinking that one of the signs was hitchiking and in need of a ride, Atwood stops the car, orders (suggests???) that unnamed perpetrator to pick up the sign and throw it in the trunk for a little while. After doing so, Atwood yells at unnamed perp to hurry up and get back in the vehicle because another car was coming down the road. Unnamed perp is only halfway back into the car when Atwood floors the accelerator, goes straight across the road and direclty into a ditch. The high-speed getaway lasted all of five seconds and covered no more than 20 feet.

Unnamed perp tried to exit the vehicle to help push the car out of the ditch but Atwood already had it in reverse, once again, with the pedal mashed to the floor... rocks, glass, grass, smoke... you name it, was flying everywhere. Luckily, the car lurched out of the ditch, and stopped just short of getting stuck in the ditch on the other side of the road.

Mother of the unnamed perp was hardly pleased after discovering the source of the flashing yellow light emanating from unnamed perp's bedroom and ordered (not suggested!!!) that the hitchiker be returned ASAP. Hitchiker was placed in possession of an unnamed 3rd party for a short period of time and is believed to have eventually been returned to the scene of the incident.

Moral of the story: Hitchiking is dangerous to all parties, especially when Atwood is driving.