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Ringgold High School - Stories

Philip Rogers... another excellent driver.
By: Jimmy Marr
Yeah, so I'm riding with Philip leaving school one afternoon... I can't remember who else was in the Mighty Green Torino... and Philip decides to show us how much power Torino has, but the problem is, it doesn't have enough "umhph" to make the tires squeal. Philip says he can fix that, though... so he speeds down the road in front of the old intermediate school and slams on the brakes "SCCCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH". Cool... so he does it again... and again... except on the third time (always a charm) we go sliding past Officer Baby Face sitting in his city cop po-po car. Officer Face watches us go sliding by and proceeds to tear out after us. Following a 10-second low-speed chase (after all, we were already pretty hard on the brakes) Philip pulled into Cotton Perry's station and I think Baby Face was up to Philip's door before we even got completely stopped. Officer Face asks in an excited/agitated voice "What the !*A#@% are you doing slamming on the brakes like that and sliding around?!"

Philip, quick on the draw, responds "A squirrel ran out in front of me".

Face yells: "THREE TIMES?!!!!" That must be one helluva squirrel.

At this point, I didn't know if we were going to jail or if Officer Face was going to call animal control after us. Luckily, we didn't go to either jail or the pound, but I'm pretty sure that Philip got a yellow ticket to go with the green Torino. Maybe he'll chime in and verify.

The names in this story have not been changed to protect the guilty.